My mother in law

I know - hard to believe I am posting a rave about a mother in law, it seems so counter cultural. But for those of you who know me well, and who know (or know of) my mother in law - this doesn't come as a great surprise.

I always have been thankful for her support, not just as a mom, but as a mentor and a friend. Lately though, especially after a recent conversation with her, I have realized even more how important she is to me. Throughout everything with the bridge, the kids getting sick, Holly and Hunter's diagnosis' she was there to validate how hard it was. She was there to validate that getting to the point we are, was not an easy road.

You may be asking - why do you need someone to validate it? It's your life. You know what sucks when you are doing it. You should be able to rely on yourself - you shouldn't need anyone else. But it is more than that. Of course, I can do it on my own, but life is so much sweeter, more fulfilling and enjoyable when you have people that are on the journey with you.
She will remind me, that yes, she went through a lot of the same things and yes she did preserve, but she doesn't act like a martyr because of it. She does not believe that just because she went through something, that everyone else should too. She wants a better life for her kids than she had. She doesn't want to have to have any of us follow the same icky paths. (Not that all of them were icky - but those are the ones that I am talking about.)

Imagine that during a few points in life, she had to walk down a really muddy or slippery path to get to whereever she was going. She doesn't watch her kids wallow in the same path, thinking, 'well I did it, so can they'; instead she will offer help or encouragement if she knows it is a path we must go down. It is more like a - "I understand what you are going through is hard, I went through it too, and I didn't like it either. This is how I handled it." She doesn't ever take the attitude, "well, I had to do... XYZ and I made it - why can't you? Or Stop complaining, you have it easy. "

Even if she can't make it better, she never belittles what is my current reality. Not her reality, but mine. Which is really what life is about. Your own current reality.

I wrote this fast, but I wanted to remember the thoughts that I have had about her lately.