$1M houses are not the norm, they are REALLY not! Right?
I am constantly telling my children, "there will always be people that have more than us and there will always be people that have less. We should feel blessed with what we have and always try to give to those who have less."
Sounds ideal, right? Sounds like I have my head screwed on straight, right? Well, don't go handing out any parenting awards yet...
In the city I live, I am constantly surrounded by an extreme upper class. In H1's school, many of her friends are of the country club set. Extremely rich. My reality gets so skewed. Very skewed. It seems like the norm is to have a $1,000,000 plus house (not exaggerating), to belong to the country club(s), to have your kids in every activity under the sun, to have baby sitters, to go to Europe, Disneyland, Colorado... everywhere on vacation. This is the norm for so many families in her school.
That is certainly not our life. We have three absolutely wonderful children, who are blessed to have a mom and dad that love them to no end. We have a nice home, we have no debt (except the house) we have some extras, not many, but some. We have wonderful friends at our church. Our kids attend an excellent school system. I look around and we are so blessed! So why, do I sometimes feel the pull to keep up with the Jones'?
I know, that I should say, 'who cares about the Jones', live your life that you have, don't worry about anyone else. I know we will never be the Jones'. I don't need to be the Jones'. So why... do I sometimes, just a little (well OK maybe sometimes a lot) want to be?
That green eyed monster rears its ugly head - When I pull up into the circle drive of the 3 story brick home that looks like it is out of House Beautiful, when I step into a home and the foyer is as large as my entire living room, when my child asks me why she can't be on the swim team at the country club with the rest of her classmates, when my son wants to join the local karate school that costs $$$, when I know all the other moms are heading out to a special fundraiser dinner that isn't even on my radar.
Geez, it all seems so superficial. And it is. But it is also my reality. It will be my children's reality. I know that how I handle it will become the way my children handle it. To not acknowledge that it bothers me a little, would be lying. To recognize it for what it is and pull myself back is the key.
Take a breath, recognize and remember all the blessings we have. To enjoy the simple joys in life. To appreciate a beautiful day and the ability to enjoy it. No amount of money replaces snuggling on the couch with your child, no amount of money replaces watching your children revel in a freak July 4th rain storm, no amount of money equals the joy of watching siblings care and love one another, no amount of money will give you true friends, no amount of money will give you the truly important things in life.
So, reality check - be thankful, feel blessed. Be happy with what you have. In short - screw the Jones'.
2 comments:
Ohhhhhhh, I can totally relate. It's the same around here/for me.
And it's hard, especially for the hubby because he falls in two different "KUWTJ" categories.
1. Those who are duel income or don't care how much debt they're getting in to as long as they look like they have it all.
2. At the age where all the kids are grown and able to spend the extra on the toys.
The 2nd one gets him down all the time because he sees his peers with the fancy boats, trucks, vacations and so on. And I have to remind him that he has a young family. Then I start feeling bad and apologizing because if he never got hooked up with me and we never had kids he would totally have all the things he wishes he could have. At least he has the sense to say, "I wouldn't trade you and the kids for any of that stuff." but I still know that he sacrificed a lot for a younger wife and young family.
And it only get harder as the kids get older. I hate telling my kids no they can't have some fad toy, not because it's a fad, but sometimes we don't have the money at the moment. They ask if we're poor, and we're not, but we're not well off that we can just switch gears on the latest new thing.
But then again, I'm glad we're not well off. It forces us to be creative in ways that others are not. It builds better character and real empathy and not just sympathy.
Half full or half empty. I'm right there with you. ;)
It is hard. We live in ...ummm...very nice community, but we live in a normal house. I would say our house is nice, too, except that compared to the rest of the neighborhood it is tiny.
I don't really want the things that the Jones' have, but I would really like the ease of life they seem to have. I'd like to get my hair cut when I need it done, not 9 months later. I'd like to drive a car that starts whenever I crank it. I'd like to have a little more room in our home. I'd like to be able to fly home and meet my baby, see my Grandmomma.
It's all about the choices we've made to stay home. Homeschooling just extends it to indefinite for me, and that scares me. I really think I can be smart enough to weasel around that to still make money, but I don't know at this juncture.
I don't want to keep up with the Jones' but helluva I would like to be able to!
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